Things I Learned

1) I can make Travis appear simply by wishing it to be so

2) The greatest band name ever would be "Meat Pickle"

3) Kyle once laughed hard enough to blow an entire pickle spear out of his nose
(which we learned only after he laughed hard enough to spit out a pickle slice)

4) Don't ask Bill for napkins
(Tracy: Honey, can I have a napkin? Bill: *insert sound of an entire giant metal
box o'napkins being carried from the beverage station and dropped on the table*)

5) Don't ask Bill for refills (Bill: I forgot what you asked for, so I put in two
squirts of everything. And by everything, I do mean everything.)

Also:

Grimace cookies are the funniest things on the planet. Truly. Picture Kyle and Alyson with a mouthful of burger/4 cookies, respectively, being presented with a Grimace cookie and laughing hard enough to cause sternum pain and eventually having to abandon half-masticated food into a napkin. Lemme tell ya, laughing until you snort and hyperventilate isn't quite as much fun when you're inhaling little chunks of McDonald's cookies into your nasal cavity. But it makes for a good, but kinda gross, story.

Cast's porn names, for all posterity:

Bill: Quiche Larios
Sarah: Cheshire Lacosa
Tracy: Tipsy Del Mar
Nick: Lucky Tyler
Kyle: Blackie Halliday (nice)
Alyson: Shasta Cartagena (lest anyone's forgotten)

Brilliant Revelation of the Day:

"You wanna talk about political corruption, let's visit McDonald Land. Mayor McCheese has been in office how long now??" (Bill, of course)