One Rink To Rule Them All

Just to refresh your memory:



So I was reviewing this picture, the seven of us on the ice (well, six and a half, but I assure you there's a whole other part of Steven you can't even see) and I thought, "Man, we're like the Fellowship of the Ring, only kinda more...gay." (There's one person in this picture who doesn't dig boys. Fortunately, it's the one I'm dating.) Okay, so I have two arguments to make here:

1. The fact that I equate us super-cool people to a Tolkien novel (and/or movie) makes me a big nerd. I accept that. That's the end of THAT argument.

2. When I started thinking about it, the Fellowship? Actually really pretty gay. Join me on this journey. First of all, you got a big bunch of guys willing to risk life and limb for a piece of really great jewelry. Now let's break it down. Okay, you got Gandalf - pretty butch wizard guy, right? Except it's the amazing Ian McKellen, and he's pretty much the outspoken Supreme Awesome Emperor of the gay acting community. Then you got Frodo, who is clearly gay for Viggo Mortensen (and who wouldn't be?). Sam - well, there's no denying Sam's hot for Frodo. Merry and Pippin? Come on, they're never more than two feet away from each other, one has a girl's name, and the other's named after a Broadway musical. Come up with any argument against it, I DARE you. There's the prissy blonde elf guy whose constant bickering with the dwarf led me to believe that they ran off to the Shire's justice of the peace and got hitched right before the journey began. I'm not going to bother with the one who died in the first movie because...well, he's dead. So pretty much all that's left is Viggo Mortensen (who I believe had a name in the movie, but who could focus on anything other than "mmmm...Viggo"?) Okay, he was pretty straight. So Travis is our Viggo.

But then you look this picture, and no one seems quite as puffy as those hobbits - even the two exceedingly lovely girly girls are still not as effeminate as Merry and Pippin (but we DO have way prettier feet). So anyway, in conclusion, this picture? Actually LESS gay than the Fellowship of the Rings. I disproved my own hypothesis Okay, glad we got that straightened out. Heheh, get it? (Groan....)

So by the end of all this, I've gone from thinking the Fellowship was a bunch of stinky menfolk wandering around in the woods to thinking I'd LOVE to be friends with the Fellowship! Think how much FUN they must be! (But seriously, those feet....ugh.)

Amazing how much time I just spent on that, huh?