We Must Be Stopped. Seriously.

I'm starting to think that I subconsciously want someone to try to kick my ass, just to see if I could hold my own.

Travis agreed (and not as reluctantly as I was expecting) to go with me to see Episode III tonight.

Yeah.

So that's out of the way.

I really want to say, like everyone else, that it was freaking sweet and awesome and I loved it.

I really want to say that.

Yeah, it tied up a bunch of loose ends. But I'm sorry...what WAS that? "Way way better than the first two," sure. Yeah, cool fights. Yeah, tons of special effects. Yeah, Ewan MacGregor does an eerily accurate Alec Guiness impersonation. Yeah, the iguana/velociraptor/bird/Vegas showgirl critter was pretty freaking neat. I didn't fall asleep or anything, and there were some awesome moments. And I think General Grievous is probably one of the coolest freaking CGI things I've ever seen in my life - officially my favourite character from any of the films. But I couldn't get past a few things.

One. Hayden Christensen, for all his adorableness, cannot act his way out of a paper bag. Is this really the same gifted actor from Shattered Glass? After about 20 minutes, I had to ask Travis if it was just me, or if it seemed like the boy just really didn't want to be in this movie. And it wasn't just him - he managed to make all the other actors suck too. His scenes with Natalie Portman were just as excruciating as they were in Episode II.

Two. I gotta go with Marcie on this one...was the woman pregnant or not? Make up your mind! And how was she MORE pregnant dead than she was when she was alive? She's got a three-month sized bump, and she gives birth to two fourteen-pound children? Was one actually inside the other one??

We did have a good time being our typical fairly obnoxious selves. Me in particular...once again, two assholes don't make a right...

I don't like crying babies in movie theatres any more than the next guy. But this is America, and incomes are out of whack. Some families can't afford to go to the movies AND pay for a babysitter. And I just don't agree that those families therefore need to give up any hope at having a life like the rest of us. So there was a crying baby, and the mother took a little more time than the Neanderthal sitting in front of us would have liked in removing the child from the theatre - which I didn't even take all that much notice of, and I'm normally sensitive as hell to any disruption in a movie. So anyway, he yelled at her. And yelled at her. And yelled at her some more, finally wrapping up with "Take the thing the hell out of here!" At this point, I just announced, "Dude, you're a DICK." So I've graduated from threatening to throttle tweens to threatening to throttle grown men twice my size. He announced, "That's what DVDs are for," apparently insinuating that this family, because they chose to procreate, should be obligated to wait a year before seeing this movie on DVD. My point, and here's where I begin to think I should just not go out in public...

"Yeah. It'd be nice if people didn't have kids. Then you wouldn't have happened. And that would be awesome."

He said no more, but grilled us down HARD as he left the theatre after the movie...WITH HIS THREE CHILDREN. Sorry that your daddy's a tool, kiddies.

So the movie was passable, and certainly better than the first two. And I got a gift that demonstrates "Here, I listen to you when you talk" - points for that. And we got the chance to resurrect what has to be the greatest running gag ever in the history of the world. Well, maybe not quite that epic, but a good one nonetheless.

I also had my first Twistee Treat experience. Not bad...not bad at all. A lovely time, reminiscing while eating ice cream on the tailgate of the pickup truck. "Hey, remember that time that dude almost beat us up? No, not that time. No, but that one was really funny too! No, no, that guy just kind of glared at us, but I don't think he was going to throw down. Yeah, that's the one!"

I really think we might have a shot at making a decent living with one of those shows like Viva La Bam or Trigger Happy TV. If nothing else, we'd be entertaining as hell on The Amazing Race or something like that. I think I could go for being famous for being able to make people go "Oh my God, she did not just SAY that!"

Tomorrow afternoon I'm off to Palm Coast to visit with Laura for the first time in about six years, and I'm stoked as all hell!