Bound And Determined

It may not be as much fun as bound and gagged, but it has a long-term payoff.

I have made up my mind that I have no reason to be here. Community theatre is all well and good, and I am fortunate to have my job (of which I am neither fond nor un-fond), but what else? I want to sell my house, my family all lives in other parts of the country, and you, my dear friends, will always be my friends no matter where I may be.

So I'm setting a goal. By my 24th birthday, je partirai. (That's right, I said 24th, and what of it? You haven't seen my birth certificate, so you can't prove a damn thing.) That's a little more than a year, which should be ample time to square things up with appearances and paperwork - then I shall find It. Whatever that may be - It's just the thing that I have to find to make me feel like my life is full and complete. Some people are full with a decent job, good friends, and a house...and I love my good friends, and I like my house, but it's this decent job thing. It's a good job, but that's all it is - a job. I'm too young to spend such a large portion of my day feeling completely apathetic. I'm just not a settle-down kind of gal...maybe I'll never be. Maybe I won't marry...maybe I won't even have kids (a contingency I had never fathomed until recently)...maybe I'll just be me, with It. I hate the term "find myself," because it's so cliche. All I know is I've made a lifetime of safe choices, and it's time to take a risk. A calculated, well-planned risk, but a risk all the same.

You can't know if you'll sink or swim until you throw yourself into open water.

Please don't let me make a liar of myself and still be here in five years.

In other news...unfortunately, my folks probably can't make it down for the show after all. Actually, my dad may, as he's going to be in town for business anyway, but my mom can't make the trip...I don't really blame her. I know all too well how completely not fun the drive is from North Carolina to Orlando and back again. They'll see the DVD - thank you, Kanago family!

Here it is, after a brief hiatus:

Good Things
Waking up to the opening strands of "Kiss" by Prince (every once in a while, 105.1 knows just what I need)
Having an ample supply of Tazo Chai and vanilla soy milk on hand so I can save four bucks a day
Vegemite!!! (I received three 455 gram jars by UPS yesterday, huzzah!)
A nod from Mom - with a word of caution, but a nod of understanding all the same
Waking up on Thursdays knowing that there's only one more day to curtain...because the Monday mornings when there are five more days to curtain...those SUCK!