Blurry Recollection

Whenever I could, which was not very often at all because I was so young, I'd stay up to catch Johnny's monologue. I was allowed to stay up late to watch his final show. I have the DVDs of his best moments, and I watch them as a pick-me-up pretty often. He's one of my heroes, and one of the top five "people I'd most like to have lunch with" in the celebrity world. And even though we never heard much from him, it was a comfort knowing he was in this world, making it funnier. I know the thought of losing him has occurred to me - because I remember pushing it out of my mind, not wanting to think about the possible effect of the death of a complete stranger who's been cheering me up for 25 years.

I'm having trouble with a Johnny Carson-less world.

So let's think about something else for a while...

I went to sleep at 8:30 last night. Jason thinks I'm a brat because I wouldn't talk to him when I got home, but I had no words left to say. I don't remember the last time I was so exhausted. I went to sleep with a smile on my lips and did not move all night long. Even that wasn't enough - I hit snooze for half an hour this morning.

And Starbucks is still out of chai. Curse them.

I'm happy because I got this (paraphrased) voicemail from Travis this morning:

"Hey, I was going to call you last night, but I was tired of talking." (Glad it wasn't just me.) "I had this really weird moment, watching this movie - you know you look a LOT like Natasha Henstridge? Mosly in the eyes. Oh, and I'm happy because I'm still alive."

Natasha Henstridge. I pulled up some photos and I do think he's mildly delusional, but I'm going to accept it because, hey, she's the hottie from Species and the comparison I get most often is Lisa Loeb. And Natasha Henstridge is a hell of a lot sexier than Lisa Loeb. (I mean, Lisa has her own brand of brainy sexiness, but come on, how can that compare?)

(A note to his happy: I accept it because yesterday was exhausting for all of us and I know I felt very near death by 8:00.)