Oh My God...

I don't know why this hadn't really even occurred to me - I mean, I've been thinking about my New Year's plans, my resolutions, my determinations, what the next year will bring...but I didn't think about this year ending. Josh just snapped me out of it - this year's over. Accept that. Tomorrow is just a day - go to the doctor, take care of this nagging cough, get the car serviced, get a cute party hat...but this year is over. I woke up one day and decided to act. I woke up another day and decided to sing. I woke up one day and decided to make friends. We woke up one day and decided to be apart. This has been a wacky year. Don't cry at work...

Learning to be social, learning to work with all different sorts of people, working on figuring out who I am in all situations and not changing to be like whoever I'm standing nearest. Watching brilliant people like Ashley, Luerne, Billy, Josh, Nick, Elizabeth, Larry, John, Stephanie on stage being whoever they were supposed to be. Noises Off - amazing experience, stiff performance, getting my feet wet sort of thing, learning to be around someone other than J and his circle of friends. Then there was Picasso, which was an experience I wouldn't trade for anything because of the friends I made, but without them would have been a complete nightmare. Whorehouse, which was a return to singing, which I had forgotten how much I loved and needed. An award, of all things, for something I like doing. People telling me, in print, in person, they enjoyed what I was doing. Grease, a horrible disaster that I am so grateful for because of Kyle, Sarah, Nick, Bill, Tracy, Travis...Snoopy, easily the silliest and most entertaining thing I've been a part of. And finally, landing a role that, to me, will determine whether or not this is something I'm capable of maintaining as more than just a hobby.

Loving that band and those people, pushing and pulling, changing and swinging, taking and occasionally even giving. Getting engaged. Getting unengaged. Breaking and mending and recovering and figuring out where to go from here. Hoping that this person I love so much will be able to continue loving me into the new year.

This year's over. What do I do now?

Not cry at work.