The Music Makes The Memory

I'm paraphrasing, of course, but it was such a lovely sentiment.

On to weirder things - this morning at work we were having a discussion, brought on by this week's episode of House (which I hear is spectacular but I don't actually watch,) of the sorts of things children cram up their nose.

(I am a federal employee. Your tax dollars at work, people.)

Any old way, it is unbelievable what children will place into any orifice. (Nearly as unbelievable as what some adults will place into any orifice...but I digress.) I don't recall being a nostril-packer as a child, but I was sort of prissy and probably wasn't real big on putting strange objects in my nose and mouth. I did have a mud-pie phase, but mostly I was pretty prim and not into getting dirty.

(This has changed - I have this bizarre desire, actually, right this minute, to go splash around in the mud pit that has developed across the street from my building where they are constructing the new federal building. I don't know why this is - God only knows what creepy creatures are hiding in mud pits. Certainly I would step on a frog, and I've done that before, and it's horrifying and disgusting beyond all words - my first ever post on this blog, actually, was an ode to that event. So I guess I owe this whole blog to a frog. Which makes this a frog blog. But I digress once again...)

For example, Alexis' daughter used to cram Pampers up her nose. (I love that sentence so much I could have sex with it.) Back then, Pampers were pretty degradable, so she used to tear little bits of cotton out of the waistband, wad them up, and shove them up her nose. Then they'd expand and she couldn't breathe, and Alexis would have to get after her with tweezers.

This makes me really want to know - what kind of weird crap did you do as a kid? I can't think of anything I did habitually like Pamper-Cramming (a phrase I love so much I'm going to break up with the Pamper sentence), but I did pour a large amount of blue tempera paint on the carpet in my bedroom when I was about two and rub it in because I desperately wanted blue carpet. Painted myself blue while I was at it. Presumably because I desperately wanted to be a Smurf.

So, that's two requests for you:

Tell me a weird story about your childhood, a habit or bizarre situation you got yourself into;

Come up with an alternative definition for Pamper-Cramming, so that I can work that phrase into everyday conversations and make it part of the lexicon of American language. (I'm counting on Marcie or Eric to come up with the best one.)